Monday, May 31, 2010

Hey Blaggers! Check out my Vlag!

Like sand in the hourglass, this has been one of the more frustrating days of my life.
Glad this exists, though. Now I can cherish this day forever.

I just sent another letter to Xbox's support website. This is how it reads:

"I emailed this service yesterday and received no help, only an automated response containing information I already knew. I called Xbox's service and was put on hold for 40 minutes before I decided to hang up. Realizing the lack of regard for customer service, I spent 8 hours attempting to fix my Xbox myself. It is now ruined. I made this video for you to watch.

I would appreciate it if you could send me an Xbox for free. You can have my old one. This is a desperate plea from a broken man."

My letter/video combo didn't get me on Fox News when I gave my speech attempting to ban heterosexual marriage, but we'll see how this pans out. I would really like to be in contact with people again. Today was terribly lonely because of all of this. Good night.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

"Let the blind lead those who can see but cannot feel."

That is all.

"Welcome back to the land of the living."

I do. What do I want to do? I guess I'll tell you what I want to do.

I'd very much like to create. I like how that makes me feel. Sounds pretty stupid, but I feel I could argue that I would be very unhappy if I followed a career where I contributed nothing to the world or myself. I get that feeling when I create, even if it's entirely self-serving. Stories are good and well, but I'd be lying if I said I really "cared" about them. What I have always been attached to is those stories which have achieved the difficult blend of mixing entertainment (because I like to be entertained) with something that's intellectually demanding. Because movies show no sign of becoming less big and spectacular and stupid, I doubt I could easily find a way to slip in and do what I want to do (and I desperately want to do). But when I think about it, despite the resurgence of the musical and variety contest shows, television really is getting better. I'd be quick to point at Lost or House, and the effect they will have on the future. They say that dramas won't get as much funding as a show like Lost, but I gotta call bullshit on that. If people like fighting robot movies, then the people making them will get more money to have robots fight each other. And if not, people find a way. As negative as I feel about humanity, I do believe in people. I'm not sure what I would do if I didn't. I don't feel as though I am in a position to complain about how everything sucks. 90 people died in India a little bit ago because a train derailed. I was sitting on a couch drinking mango Juicy Juice. My life isn't bad. Again, I'm not a good person and I don't do good work. But for now, I'll just try to do the work of good people. Si vi amari ama, if I were a Latin Bright Eyes. Let's not shit ourselves.

This idea came into my head last night and I wrote a draft for a story, and I've never done that before. I'll leave it on a shelf for a long time and maybe revisit it in a couple years (like Avatar!). It's a love story that isn't stupid.

I'm pretty tired. You can tell? You can tell. When did we become so tired? I've never seen the big dipper until tonight. It's really mesmerizing. Oh yeah, I'm going to have a pen pal. I'm sure we'll be talking less like this, Internet and random fake Chinese accounts who randomly comment my blog posts. Sweet dreams, all you fake people.

Hey, it's a song not by The National! Although I did actually buy High Violet recently and it is good. Reading good books. Eating good food. Talking with good people. Good night.

Friday, May 21, 2010

I started writing my thing about aliens.

Getting ideas together. Making something good while trying not to make it more than it is.

"The guy in your apartment building obsessed with his new new-media job. The trivia hound at the bar who's so sure Hanna-Barbera cartoons are art. The guy in film school who used to be a jock who made fun of film schools. The guy you slept with last night who hasn't called. The guy who wants you back. The guy who looks depressed and lonely as he reads novels you think you've heard of on the 2 train. The guy who says he loves you and means it; the guy who says he loves you and might not. The guy who hates himself but loves his biker rights. The guy who feels so alienated in a big city, finds the bright lights blinding and the noise deafening, but will never leave because he's too afraid to live anywhere else."

"This Is Happening is about the way the things you love can ruin your life. It's about getting what you want and not wanting it anymore."

Monday, May 17, 2010

Iago, Iago, where did you go?

I'm having a hard time deciding whether or not I believe if there is any karmic justice in the world or if the end of The Lovely Bones is complete and utter bullshit. We are encouraged to do good. That's good. But what if we weren't? If what isn't right natural, then why do we go against nature? What's the point of empathy if it's optional for everybody? Why do good deeds to combat terrible crimes?

I think we learn to hate before we can learn to love. I know what I hate and I think I know what I love. It's just the rest that's missing. Cetera desunt. I'd like to be good, but for now I'll just try to do the work of good people.

I'm starting to think the question doesn't even matter, and that I'll be completely fine being weak so long as I'm loved. (Not needy, there's a difference.) Hopefully infinity is God, because that's what I'm going with.

My project this summer is going to be a short film about aliens.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Bye Bye When The Morning Comes

If I were to look at the world for what it is-- meaning everything that happens in it by everyone that makes it up, then I would see that all is miserable and that there is no God.

But the thing is that I don't.

If you ever try to get outlogic'd by an asshole asking, "When did you become such a fucking humanist?" then the right answer might be, "When I started acting human."

This is the last CWC video I'll make. People have been telling me how sad they find it, but it's just beautiful to me. I can't express how grateful I am to have been a part of it all. In all likelihood, I'd probably be dead without CWC. Instead, it made me live. Funny how that works out.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Things That Are Good Make Things That Are Bad Worse

I've an antic disposition.

Don't really want to go to college. Don't see the point.
The really only difference between now and all other times are the things that'll be lost have jumped on the sentimental scale. No no. Don't wanna go. Have a few months to make some make sense.